I has moved

So in case you didn't notice, I'm not a active here as I used to be. And considering that I wasn't terribly active to begin with, well yeah, let's just say that I've been neglectful. But I have taken my lazy habits to another domain, the wonderful world of Wordpress. I'll leave a link towards the bottom so you can check me out while I procrastinate on another web format.

http://criticismsandmisdemeanors.wordpress.com/

Gran Torino (2008; Clint Eastwood)

Walt Kowalski is not a happy camper. Recently widowed and dealing with uncaring family, this racist old Vietnam vet is not living an envied life. He has to deal with his overbearing (all growed up) son and his family, while those pesky Asian immigrants are moving in next door. But throughout the course of the film, our antihero learns to love. I.e. a more updated variation on the old timer with regrets he played in Unforgiven.

When I first saw this film during its run in theaters, my initial reaction was intermittent lulz and muted indifference. Revisiting it years later, I am happy to report that I liked it much more. Granted, it’s still one of the weaker entries in Eastwood’s filmography, and the things that I didn’t like about it then still bother me now. First off, some of the most over-the-top and awful excuses for gangsters I've seen in any film. They're hardly as threatening as they are annoying. Also troublesome is Walt's immediate family, and how rather than coming off as neglectful and uncaring (which is surely what this film was going for), they were just stria hgt-up assholes. Maybe Walt was onto something by choosing not to connect with them.

But this recent viewing did more to clear some things up than retread what made me dislike it in the first place. One thing that was very difficult to accept before was how accepting the Asian family was of Walt’s racist attitude, as he continues to act like a crotchy old bastard even when he befriends them. I never quite understood how they could find his racist mannerisms charming, but watching it again, I realized this: they don’t. Despite having a new circle of friends, Walt isn’t about to change who he is entirely, and the family accepts that and chooses to go along with Walt’s mannerisms and put up with him.

As I said earlier, this film is not in the upper tier of Eastwood's filmography, but it is still quite good. I certainly like it more now than I did when it first came out, warts and all.

Happy New Year

Okay, I know I’m a little late here, but I’ve been occupied with filling my (soon to be over) Christmas break with as much social and material time with friends and whatnot as possible.

Now, I’m fully aware that it’s customary for people to make resolutions they plan to keep, but to be perfectly honest, I never held much stakes in New Year’s resolutions. Not because I think they’re useless or it’s a bad idea in general. Quite the contrary, I actually think that these kinds of resolutions are a fine way of keeping everyone in balance. The reason I choose not to make any for myself is because I’ve never been that good at either making or keeping them.

Of course, there are things I still hope for in 2011. I would very much like to hold onto old friendships, especially the ones I’ve managed to hold onto up until this point. And I want to get a better hold on what I want to do with my life, just like any normal person who finds themselves in my same position would want. Plus an addition few other miscellaneous, albeit smaller and far less significant resolutions, such as expanding my filmic knowledge and making this blog more official.

So, until then my fellow non-readers, go forth and wreck havoc on the world.

Peace.

Off Topic "Top 5" of 2010

A collection of my favorite (non film related) events and happenings from this past year.

5. Beach Vacation – The immediate family and me in our yearly trip down to Long Beach Island, NJ.

4. Senior Prom – Again, self explanatory. Had a good time with some close friends, got all dressed up and danced a bunch. T’was a night to remember fer shur.

3. High School Graduation - Fairly self explanatory.

2. Church trip down to North Carolina – Traveled out of state to spend a week in Cherokee, NC with a youth group from my church.

1. College – Not any one specific even or incident. Just my entire college experience so far. It’s been pretty rad.

In spite of these five listed items, 2010 as a whole has been pretty so-so for me. Stay tuned for my New Years ramblings and possible list of resolutions.

Weekly Watch

Thought I’d give this new series a try. It basically keeps track of all the films I watched in the past week or so, and then I do small writeups of each, with a 1-4 star rating scale for funsies. Hopefully this’ll be inspiring enough for me to do some more feature length pieces.

Grizzly Man – One of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen. An absolutely captivating portrait of a man who clearly wasn’t all “there” per say. Despite not much happening in the way of plot or story, it was one of the most dramatic and intense experiences watching a film I’ve had in a long time. Much better than I was expecting and easily my favorite film from Werner Herzog, feature or documentary. ****

Love and Death – One of the most ambitious films from Woody Allen I’ve seen yet, and also one of the funniest. ***

True Grit – Pretty much it was everything I hoped it would be, and even much more at times. A wonderfully crafted film that’s just as cinematically satisfying as it is entertaining on a purely superficial level. It goes without saying that the cinematography was stunning and the entire cast did well, with the clear standout being Hailee Steinfeld in the lead role. Barring a regrettably anticlimactic finale and a general lack of catharsis, this was one hell of a film. ****

Rio Bravo – Stunningly average western flick on all fronts, without any interesting characters or unique plot devices to lead from point A to B. An inoffensive enough piece of hackwork that had its moments, but didn’t do much for me overall. One thing I did love, though, was the liberal use of the term “dude.” How unbelievably anachronistic. **1/2

We'll see how long this one lasts.

Lorne the Super Jew

Let the record show that I did not write this. It's just a fun little story written by another...let's call him "Renty" for now. Anyway, I noticed how sad and empty my blog has been looking lately, so I thought I'd drop by and share this. Be warned that there are a few in-jokes stashed in there so if you don't "get" something, it's not you. Enjoy!

Part I

Lorne the Super Jew was big.
He was fast.
He could leap tall buildings in a single bound and have motzah ball soup ready on the way back down.

Lorne the Super Jew was loved and revered by all the people of Toronto, and rightfully so, for Lorne the Super Jew was a kind man.
A virtuous man.
And most importantly, a sexy man.

In fact, Lorne the Super Jew was wanted by every hot female in Ontario. He soon the attentions of a Miss Cheesecake, who proceeded to court him and she became his queen soon after, leaving Toronto in a state of prosperity and bliss.

This is when the sidekick dead-ced-dead comes in. Mr. DCD was a kind man.
A scrupulous man.
He was also an even sexier man (though that may be my own bias).

How in the world could Lorne the Super Jew compete?

But Lorne the Super Jew soon discovered that DCD was not to be feared.

Instead, he busied himself acquiring an even more vast fortune, buying out every bank in Canada and the world over (and yes, even Serbia) before owning the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

With great power, comes great responsibility (and no, I am not plagiarising).

And it was DCD’s suggestion to give the Oscar this year to Natalie Portman for her wonderful performance in Black Swan (despite not having seen the film himself).

And so Lorne agreed, and it was done, and every Portman fanboy around the world creamed himself to a sticky death.

Part II

Lorne the Super Jew was sweet.
Lorne the Super Jew was awesome.
Lorne the Super Jew was the stuff of legend.

It was rumoured that he could run around the world in three minutes and seduce even the most bitter woman in half that time (and yes, even convert her).

It was also rumoured that he was responsible for the disappearance of Mel Gibson. This angered McFlyin, who believed every word of said rumour, and who had never heard of Mad Max, only What Women Want.

An inquiry was sent forth and it was ruled that Mr. Gibson must have hidden himself away where he could go ahead with his drunk tirades where not even the crows could hear him.

It was decided that not only would a search of the world not be worth it, it would also be more expensive, much like the pointless search for Osama bin Laden.

Part III

Lorne the Super Jew was intelligent.
Lorne the Super Jew was clever!
Lorne the Super Jew was a PATRIOT!

When it came time to defend his country against the wicked Gibson-ites (some very disturbing people not really worth a description here), he led them away by promising them gold and jewels...without detailing the amount of karats first.

And that is where our story ends, ladies and gentlemen.

I could go on and on and on about the glorious Lorne the Super Jew, but if there’s one thing that Lorne the Super Jew is known for...it is his great humility.

THE END

What I'm thankful for

Oh yeah, time to get sentimental this Thanksgiving.

- Being with my family, however asshole-ish they may be.

- Getting into a good school.

- Making lots of new friends at college

- Keeping in touch with a few of my old friends from high school.

- Being able to sleep in as late as I want to, without having to worry about alarms going off, or being late for classes.

- Good health (corny as hell for sure, but something you just have to mention)

- My puppy, Bailey.

- 50% off Criterion DVD sales

- Netflix Instant watch

- Thanksgiving feasts. Mmmmmmmmmm –

That’s all for now.

College updates.

Hey, I don’t see you coming up with any ideas.

- As far as classes are concerned, I’m doing very well in a few (like English Comp and Linguistics) while I’m struggling in some others (Intro to Gov’t and Astronomy)

- I’m getting much better at the guitar, due to more practice. Who knows, you could even say that I’m getting halfway decent.

- I’ve developed a routine of drinking coffee. I can’t honestly say I like it, but it’s become a habit that I drink at least 1 cup per day.

- Apparently the students that work in the library get paid $8.50 an hour, which sort of blew my mind when I learned that.

- Still no goddamn roommate.

- I should really be working on an English paper instead of writing this.

- I am no longer a member of the Snapper newspaper staff. It’s a long story, but basically, the section of the paper I was writing for got terminated and I (and a few other kids) got booted out. It was really dumb.

Woohoo!

Not for you, for me

This is just a friendly reminder to myself to get my ass in gear and put something here. I keep saying I'll do it eventually, so what good is my word now? Anywho, when I have the time, I will try to write something up for my blogging pleasure.

Why ‘Hereafter’ is amazing and people are generally ignorant, stupid morons

The goal of a film’s trailer is generally to make it look appealing towards its established target audience, yes? And surely most people would agree that the average trailer is successful in that regard a very good percentage of the time. The films demographic take the bait, see the film and enjoy it while the rest of the world scoffs and forgets said trailer forever. It’s a fairly routine system that appears to work most of the time (read: most of the time). But every so often, the studios prove that they have so little faith in their product that they feel the need to dress it up like some lame ass movie-of-the-week, thus dooming it to poor word of mouth from people expecting something completely different from what the got. The last major instance of this would be M. Night Shyamalan’s misunderstood masterpiece The Village, and we find ourselves with another case nearly as outrageous, this time concerning Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter.

Hereafter tells the story of three separate storylines where the protagonist of each either experiences or is faced with a situation involving death in some way. Think of the trailer for this film like if Slumdog Millionaire was advertised to look like a James Bond film. If I were to make a comparison to a now realized genre classic, I’d say this film is this generation’s The Shining. Surely if the audiences who saw The Shining back when it was first released in theaters had Facebooks, their statuses would’ve read “The girlfriend and I both hated The Shining. So boring” and “Latest Stanley Kubrick movie: S – L – O – W” etc. However, a more recent comparison would be to say that it’s this years Funny People – as in the wrong people watching it, and thus spreading negative word of mouth, where the people who would really respond to this film brush it off as exactly what the trailer made it out to be.

But what I think upset audiences the most was Hereafter’s overall position, or lack thereof, when it comes to the various theories concerning what comes after death. The film doesn’t take any concrete position on the afterlife but rather allows the viewer to reflect parts of what they believe into the material the film exposes them to. It’s not the fault of the film, nor anybody involved, for failing to provide answers to the mystery of the afterlife. Because really, anybody who think they’ll get an answer to THE question by watching movies is bound to be disappointed

So what do I think the future holds for Hereafter? Very minimal, if any awards recognition. Reasonably mild critical/public reception and doomed to be dismissed as one of Eastwood’s lesser works. Perhaps an eventual cult following will materialize in the near future, just like The Village (high five!), but it’s certainly doubtful. The point is that whatever fate has in store for this film, it’s far less than it deserves. But in a society where Scott Pilgrim vs. the World makes less money than Vampires Suck, could you really expect anything less?

Recent updates about my life

Okay, I'm not even going to try to avoid the fact that I've been terribly neglectful over the past few months. But I am going to start picking up the slack once I get some more things over here at M'ville on track. Expect a sudden flourish of postery to come your way over the next few weeks. But until then, here's some shit about my life for 'ya.

- I’ve decided to cancel the ongoing “2010 Films” series, for a couple of reasons. First off, I’ve seen too damn many, at least between now and the last update. Most of which weren’t very good or memorable to be honest. And with the ones I didn’t really care about, my critique was usually just “It was decent. Better than it looked, but still average.” It was a good idea, but just wasn’t as inspiring as I was hoping.

- All of my classes are going well. For a little refresher, I have English Composition, Intro to State and Local Gov’ts, International Linguistics Studies, Astronomy, and Musical Appreciation. They’re fine, I s’pose. It is what it is, you know?

- I still have no roommate, or the faintest idea of what the hell ever happened to him. Mu guess is that he was an upperclassman who got an apartment at the last second and neglected to tell somebody. Whatever the case, he still ain’t here.

- I’ve been to movies a more lot lately than I usually am. I’m sure it all has to do with a shuttle bus on campus stopping at this one plaza where there just so happens to be a movie theater. Speaking in film buff terms, I’ve actually see my Top 3 of the year up to this point during my span of living on campus. Neat-o.

- In addition to seeing movies theatrically, I’ve also made proper use of the library and its infinite selection of DVDs.

- I finally learned how to tie a tie, all on my own this time. You see, every Friday in my Gov’t course is formal wear day, where if you come dressed all formal-like, you’ll get extra points. Being about all well educated in the inner mechanisms of Gov’tal workings as a footstool, I’m thinking some extra points couldn’t hurt. So I learned how to tie my own ties for the class and hopefully gain a whopping .24755332uwejvqn8 234 4297 extra points onto my overall grade.

- I bought this awesome Kermit the Frog hat, for when it gets super cold outside.



- I’ve recently starting keeping an expense journal for my debit card, which is a huge pain in my ass. I’m always forgetting things and mixing up amounts spent and all that bs.

That’s all for now. I promise I’ll be back at least once more before the wonderful month of October ends.

"The Future"

Ah, yes. “The future.” The subject of many-a science fiction novel/film, and the ominous force looming over our heads always. Well, I’m not here to talk about THAT future. The future I’d like to briefly discuss is the one we’re always being old about. The one we’re supposed to fear and look forward to our entire lives. And every time we reach said future, it always slips away into another 10 or so years.

Well, I got news for y’all. The whole “future” theory… it’s overrated. Don’t get me wrong, there IS such a thing as a future. Just not that ominous presence that everyone and their mother warned us about. Right now, I’m living the future I was told of 10 years ago. The future I’ve been working my butt off through 12 years of schooling to reach. Yeah, it’s here, and I have to say that it’s rather underwhelming. Without neglecting to acknowledge some drastic changes in lodgings and overall living situation, I’m doing basically the same shit I’ve BEEN doing for most of my entire life, more or less. Wake up, go to school (or something relative to an educational facility), do work, come home (again, something relative to a home). Lather, rinse, repeat.

I’m not even sure if there’s a point that I’m trying to get across here. All I’m saying is that all these years of being told to fear what’s awaiting for us around the corner isn’t very daunting. I met my future a long time ago and it wasn’t very intimidating. I think I can rest easy now and not have to worry about what else the big, bad future will hold for me. I’m sure I’ve dealt with worse.

Announcment

Hi there. First off, I'll be apologizing for my recent lack of commitment. I know full well that I'm usually more dependable than just lists and photo compilations. But being a college bound individual and all is a bit jarring, as I'm usually up to my elbows in school work or other things I need to get done.

Anyhow, I've also returned to tell y'all that I've obtained a postition on the Millersville University newspaper staff. Most of the time, I'll just have random article topic assigned to me and I'll just run with them. But occasionally, I'll get the opportunity to write about a subject of my choice. Being a newbie on staff, I doubt I'll be picking my own shit very often, but that's fine with me. So for my first assignment, I got stuck with the sacred topic of the difference between left & right handed people. So whenever I get something of value published, I'll just repost it here or your viewing pleasure. Until then, enjoy my pointless lists and picture compilations.

Rough Top 10 (Happy birthday to me!)

Because it’s my birthday weekend, and I felt like being a little indulgent.

#. Film title (Release year; Director)

1. Big Fish (2003; Tim Burton)
“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops.”


2. Fantasia (1940; Various)
“Musically and dramatically, we have here a picture of the struggle between the profane and the sacred.”


3. The Trial (1962; Orson Welles)
“It is said that the logic of this story is that of a dream… or a nightmare.”


4. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928; Carl Theodor Dreyer)
“Are you in a state of grace right now?”
“If I am, then may God keep me there.”


5. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968; Stanley Kubrick)
“I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.”


6. The Night of the Hunter (1955; Charles Laughton)
“It’s a hard world for little things.”


7. The Godfather Part II (1974; Francis Ford Coppola)
“I don’t feel that I need to wipe out everybody, Tom. Just my enemies.”


8. Fargo (1996; Joel Coen)
“Two more months.”


9. Princess Mononoke (1997; Hayao Miyazaki)
“Pay attention, everyone. I’m going to show you how to kill a God.”


10. The Mirror (1975; Andrei Tarkovsky)
“And I can't wait to see this dream in which I'll be a child again and feel happy again because everything will still be ahead, everything will be possible...”



[Next time, I'll have an actual piece of writing prepared. Cross my heart.]

The 'Cyanide & Happiness' tribute

Clickage to make them larger is recommended.

That College Business

I honestly have no idea what to think about my college experience so far. It’s kind of like I love it and I hate it at the same time, you know? I mean, it’s everything I thought it was going to be, from the good and the bad perspectives. But for right now, I’d like to focus on one from each category.

First off is the sense of independence. This is really great for me because all my life, I’ve been looking for an opportunity to prove that I can take care of myself, all by myself. And this is precisely what the doctor ordered. More than that, I’m just glad to be away from the stuffy and uncomfortable environment of my home. I no longer have to be stuck under the same roof as a house full of irritable and insensitive assholes. That’s very nice. So yeah, I have been enjoying all the time to myself.

But then there’s the almost unbearable loneliness I’m feeling. Now, I know I just spent an entire paragraph explaining how much I love being on my own. But you have to understand the difference between being on your own, and being totally alone in an area you aren’t savy with in the first place. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not some Franz Kafka, sitting alone suffering. Not at all. I’ve made friends and am being reasonably sociable. It’s just that I don’t have any deep-rooted relationships yet. While it’s not like I was expecting to or anything, I just didn’t realize how much not having anybody to count on could suck. Hell, I don’t even have a roommate, which in theory that sounds cool, and at times it is nice to have some privacy. But there’s nobody around for me to just shoot the shit with. Although it is preferable to the company I shared my previous lodgings with, so there’s that.

Well, it would appear that I have some conflicting feelings to contend with. I s’pose I’ll just have to wait it out to see which one of the two aforementioned emotions I wind up indulging in. Le sigh.

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I come bearing good tidings. There will be an actual piece of writing up by tomorrow. w00t. But until that time, here's some more memetic shit.

The Leo Strut

Because I don't think I've spammed this blog with enough pointless memes yet.











Don't worry, I'll get an actual piece of writing in here... eventually.

Faith in humanity, commence getting lost

There are lots of things I don’t understand in this world. But I'd at least be able to wrap my head around said goofs or just brush them off completely. However, when I came across the following U.S. box office statistics, my mind was absolutely blown.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - $29,251,000

Vampires Suck - $33,099,000

According to these figures, more people went to see Vampires Suck than Scott Pilgrim vs. the World theatrically, which makes me a very sad panda. Humanity, you sicken me. SICKEN ME I tells ‘ya. Pointing out the obvious lack of originality in either Avatar or Shutter Island is one thing. Choosing a total and complete waste of time over quality filmmaking is just a whole new kind of evil.

'Inception' memes

Because they're hilarious. Although clickage to make them larger is extremely necessary for some of these.