From the archives

Often considered (by myself and a few teachers where I went to high school) to be the best thing I've ever written, I present to you my published review of the 2009 PVHS drama production of Once Upon a Mattress.

Alright, Hans Christian Anderson's literary fairly tale The Princess and the Pea is, let's face it, no Les Miserables. Granted, nobody is asking it to be nor have such high marks ever been required of it. But really, how attractive does this this sound? A young princess learns of her true values by feeling a pea underneath like a gazillion mattresses. Uh huh. Well, Mary Rodgers and Marshall Barer apparently were enchanted by the concept, and adapted the story into a stage play named Once Upon a Mattress. Since then, the little fable has also been adapted into for film, television, and even a board game. Here we stand, 50 years later as our school's drama crew has picked up the aforementioned Once Upon a Mattress as their dramatic theater piece for this year.

Quite noticeably, there is a total juxtaposition in the air, with tonality in play choices shifting from a series of life-affirming theater pieces to a whimsical little children's diddy concerning vegetables in places vegetables should never be. It should also be noted that replacing Ramona Parsons from last year is Christina Castone, marking her debut as a director for the drama production. While the level of importance of a chosen director in this case is debatable, one can't help but wonder how much this play would differ had Parsons been attached, like if this is the play that would have been chosen in the first place. Castone's presence is certainly felt, but not fatal. But hey, the less time spent on the "What if?"s, the better.

An act of revitalization as much as continuation, Once Upon a Mattress seeks to breathe fresh life into the moribund family-friendly field crushed under classic literature's foot. The end result would prove all the long hours of devastating labour and time spent during and after school hours to have been time well spent. With an adequate ensemble cast ranging from seniors to sophomores to even kindergarten students. The supporting players all do their job of, well, supporting the leads, who in this case are Tom Byrne and Nicole Chouljian, both sophomores. (Side-note to all sophomores: walk faster in the hallways) If ever there was a standout in the show, quite appropriately, it would have to be Chouljian's Princess Olivia. Amidst a sea of comic performers and faux-vaudevillian whimsy, she feverishly treats her princess as sympathetic and disheartening. It's a flash of inspired risk-taking that stands out like a sore thumb in this newest Princess show, a fleeting instant of enlivened daring amid a play that's otherwise content, despite its outward appearances to the contrary, to maintain both PV's narrative and dramatic status quo.

Irrespective of the fact that its intended progressiveness is compromised, Once Upon a Mattress only intermittently delivers on its promise of glitzy and glamorous Princess bliss. When the play does falter at times, and make no mistake that it does, it’s mostly during the opening sections involving the Prince's search for a bride. As all informed viewers know, he will not succeed in finding one, and the play has some fun playing with the failures in the Prince's search, but maybe a little too much fun. Each individual princess has but one sole function. For instance, one is conceded, another is smart, and the last one…is buff, I guess. Rest assured, all the actress who portray the lot are fine and really do a good job flaunting their respective attributes and making them dominate their given personas. The fault is in the pacing of this section of the play, where it feels like the show is dragging each princess-fail joke out until it's uncomfortable and seems to be just procrastinating until it’s time for the extended finale of the show.

Another weak point of the production albeit a less troubling one, once again having to do moreso with the actual story, rather than anything the school had control over, is how the show brings itself to a close. The story itself never had much of a finale or structural arc, so it's only expected that it bled through to the drama production. It just sort of...ends. In a nutshell, the climax plays out as follows: "She felt the pea? Zomigod yay - new princess!" Fin.

But perhaps the longing for some closure signifies that the play, all things considered, achieved its goal of engaging the audience. Or maybe the one just can't help but wonder what royalty dictated by frozen food entails. For what it's worth, it's a flawed production, but gratifying in the way it delivers.

The story of all the trouble this review got me into prior to the printing could (and maybe someday will) make for an interesting blog post all its own.

The Life Terrestrial

^ The brand new title of my blog [incaseyadidntnotice].

You see, as much as I try to come up with fresh ideas for things to ramble on here, I never really seemed to pick up on the oddness of the title. But in order to further explain this, I have to tell you the history behind the former title Criticisms and Misdemeanors.

It's a reference to a movie title. You're SHOCKED, I know. The film in question is the 1989 Woody Allen masterpiece Crimes and Misdemeanors (if you haven't seen it yet - fix that). I just fudged with the title a bit and Criticisms and Misdemeanors was born.

The thing is, when I first created this blog, it was for the purpose of film criticism and that was it. Now that I'm posting more infrequently and the things I discuss aren't all film related anymore, insinuating that there'd be a satisfactory amount of filmic topics here would be misleading, ya know?

So now I have a brand new title. And yes, it's a reference to a film title. What a twist! This time, I'm pulling a wink-wink-nudge-nudge on The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, another case of compulsive "rent this right effing now."

Scaffolding

Metaphors. Gotta love 'em. Like their step brothers, the analogy, metaphors are so frequently used in everyday society, it's become difficult to separate the vain from the ones that actually have value. I believe that during my stay in North Carolina, I was acquainted with one of the latter category.

Each of the three years my church has done out of state trips, we have attended a nightly chapel service. There, the Team Effort staff would have a theme relative to the work we were doing, as well as giving everyone something to think about during the week long stay on site. The major point of focus being what's keeping you from God, for the most part. Our theme for this past week was scaffolding. What scaffolding literally is, is a temporary structure used to support people and material in the construction or repair of buildings and other large structures. Metaphorically speaking, the art of scaffolding represents what's holding you up, i.e. the relationships we build around us, familiar places and thoughts, things like that. There's both good and bad scaffolding, each being pretty self-explanatory. Which is which is up to the individual.

Needless to say, I found the whole concept to be quite intriguing, after I was finished giving it my own interpretation, that is. I personally don't care much for the more dogmatic aspects of the scaffolding theme, no matter how big of a part that plays into how other people perceive it. Me, I like having more room for developing on my own terms. Selfish as hell fer shur, but it's just what makes me comfortable. For this, I substituted any relation to God with the general discovery of balance, for lack of a lamer term. What were the things that kept me from leading a satisfactory life? Is there even anything that needs tending to in my life right now? Why the frigg is the shift key on my keyboard broken? I dunno. Just some things I can ponder during the remainder of my summer. Maybe you aught to try it out as well.

Also, I STILL haven't shaved yet. But that's a story for another day. Arrevaderchi.

Shaving off my experience

My week long absense was not in vain, I assure you.

But yes, I was away from any computer source for the entirety of my North Carolina adventure, meaning that I was unable to update my blog, and I feel as if I owe you an extra.

With the nature of church trips being what they are, it's usually customary for our group to gather on the eve of our departure and discuss the experience/share some thoughts with one another. We went about doing so by taking turns and going whenever we feel as if we had something of value to say. Mine was a bit, uhmm..."stranger" as opposed to everyone else's. Like all things worth writing, it came spontaneously and without method or preparation.

Anyhow, for the entire week I was gone, I did not shave. Once. I had forgotten to bring my own razor and while I received offers to share others, I declined. So I just let my facial hair grow out for the whole week. And the realization I came to was how my beard, which had turned out quite profusely by friday, somehow represented my experience for the entire week. Now, stay with me here. You see, it's like how the week progressed, I grew accustomed to life in an all new environment, all the while developing a full face of hair. It was very nice, but I knew that both would have to come to a close sooner or later. I knew that whenever I got home, I would have to readjust back to my normal life, and shave my beard as well, thus getting rid of all the feelings of comfort and homeliness I had, and their symbolic representation.

And for the record, I still haven't shaved yet. I think I may let it live until, oh I don't know, friday? Yarp, friday sounds good to me.

Alright, I admit it

I don't have a post prepared for tonight. Sadface.

BUT what I do have is a legitimate excuse. My lack of postery for tonight isn't out of laziness, and certainly not fro a lack of trying. Trust me, I thought hard about what I could have written about this week. But the thing is, is that I've been really preoccupied recently.

You see, tomorrow I leave to go out of state. I won't be getting back until next saturday, which also means I won't be able to put something here next week either. But I will definitely be picking up the slack afterwards. I have the latest in my 2010 films series lined up and a few other bits as well. So there's a lot to look forward to, at least for the rest of the summer.

Until my return, please enjoy Christopher Walken dancing in my stead.

Test

This is just an experiment, to see if embedding videos into a post really works or not. If it does work, then enjoy an Old Spice Odor Blocker commercial and the first 10 minutes of The Passion of Joan of Arc.

Dream Project

Back when this blog was in its hey-day, a mere month and a half ago, I often discussed the prospects of writing with my blogging buddy. Within the confides of our shooting the shit, we shared ideas and concepts with one another, some better than others. After brainstorming some possible things I could write about this week, I thought it appropriate to share one of my personal favorite ideas.

The basic gist goes a little something like this: There’s this woman who is arrested for murder. I’m still ambivalent on who she’s killed and why, or even why it's a woman, but that’s besides the point. Just bare with me here. Anyhow, this woman is arrested and goes to prison, but is released shortly after her incarceration (why? I dunno). Upon her release, this woman shows no signs of regretting what she has done. In fact, she’s almost sort of proud of her crime. She soon begins to publicly profess how good her satisfaction was and encourages others to do so as well. This odd characteristic begins to catch on, and soon influences other people to partake. When enough people start following what she says, needless to say the shit hits the fan.

With summaries being what they are, just a general re-cap of the work as a whole, I feel I must also explain all the subtexts to y’all. What this story is, is really just a simple examination of the politics of free speech, and its PC boundaries. Like, is there really such a thing as going too far? Is having the power to say whatever we feel really worth all the hassle? Additionally, there's also some sort of commentary on the entire basis of modern Christianity. Challenging the very basic ideals of faith and spirituality. i.e. is it really all that sensible to blindly follow the word of one mortal human being (hint: no). Really, I don't know what this project is trying to communicate to the reader any more what actually happens within the story period.

So there you have it. Very much a work in progress as I've still yet to work out the kinks, provided I even feel like expanding upon it. At this moment, it's very sketchy and there are many details I still need to flesh out. There's still the entire plot and narrative structure that needs tending to. Hell, I don’t even have any characters, sans the instigator at the center. If per chance anybody happens to come across this post who thinks they know how to turn my concept into gold, by all means use it. Just give me due credit, thankyouverymuch.