Friday, December 31, 2010

Off Topic "Top 5" of 2010

A collection of my favorite (non film related) events and happenings from this past year.

5. Beach Vacation – The immediate family and me in our yearly trip down to Long Beach Island, NJ.

4. Senior Prom – Again, self explanatory. Had a good time with some close friends, got all dressed up and danced a bunch. T’was a night to remember fer shur.

3. High School Graduation - Fairly self explanatory.

2. Church trip down to North Carolina – Traveled out of state to spend a week in Cherokee, NC with a youth group from my church.

1. College – Not any one specific even or incident. Just my entire college experience so far. It’s been pretty rad.

In spite of these five listed items, 2010 as a whole has been pretty so-so for me. Stay tuned for my New Years ramblings and possible list of resolutions.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Weekly Watch

Thought I’d give this new series a try. It basically keeps track of all the films I watched in the past week or so, and then I do small writeups of each, with a 1-4 star rating scale for funsies. Hopefully this’ll be inspiring enough for me to do some more feature length pieces.

Grizzly Man – One of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen. An absolutely captivating portrait of a man who clearly wasn’t all “there” per say. Despite not much happening in the way of plot or story, it was one of the most dramatic and intense experiences watching a film I’ve had in a long time. Much better than I was expecting and easily my favorite film from Werner Herzog, feature or documentary. ****

Love and Death – One of the most ambitious films from Woody Allen I’ve seen yet, and also one of the funniest. ***

True Grit – Pretty much it was everything I hoped it would be, and even much more at times. A wonderfully crafted film that’s just as cinematically satisfying as it is entertaining on a purely superficial level. It goes without saying that the cinematography was stunning and the entire cast did well, with the clear standout being Hailee Steinfeld in the lead role. Barring a regrettably anticlimactic finale and a general lack of catharsis, this was one hell of a film. ****

Rio Bravo – Stunningly average western flick on all fronts, without any interesting characters or unique plot devices to lead from point A to B. An inoffensive enough piece of hackwork that had its moments, but didn’t do much for me overall. One thing I did love, though, was the liberal use of the term “dude.” How unbelievably anachronistic. **1/2

We'll see how long this one lasts.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Lorne the Super Jew

Let the record show that I did not write this. It's just a fun little story written by another...let's call him "Renty" for now. Anyway, I noticed how sad and empty my blog has been looking lately, so I thought I'd drop by and share this. Be warned that there are a few in-jokes stashed in there so if you don't "get" something, it's not you. Enjoy!

Part I

Lorne the Super Jew was big.
He was fast.
He could leap tall buildings in a single bound and have motzah ball soup ready on the way back down.

Lorne the Super Jew was loved and revered by all the people of Toronto, and rightfully so, for Lorne the Super Jew was a kind man.
A virtuous man.
And most importantly, a sexy man.

In fact, Lorne the Super Jew was wanted by every hot female in Ontario. He soon the attentions of a Miss Cheesecake, who proceeded to court him and she became his queen soon after, leaving Toronto in a state of prosperity and bliss.

This is when the sidekick dead-ced-dead comes in. Mr. DCD was a kind man.
A scrupulous man.
He was also an even sexier man (though that may be my own bias).

How in the world could Lorne the Super Jew compete?

But Lorne the Super Jew soon discovered that DCD was not to be feared.

Instead, he busied himself acquiring an even more vast fortune, buying out every bank in Canada and the world over (and yes, even Serbia) before owning the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

With great power, comes great responsibility (and no, I am not plagiarising).

And it was DCD’s suggestion to give the Oscar this year to Natalie Portman for her wonderful performance in Black Swan (despite not having seen the film himself).

And so Lorne agreed, and it was done, and every Portman fanboy around the world creamed himself to a sticky death.

Part II

Lorne the Super Jew was sweet.
Lorne the Super Jew was awesome.
Lorne the Super Jew was the stuff of legend.

It was rumoured that he could run around the world in three minutes and seduce even the most bitter woman in half that time (and yes, even convert her).

It was also rumoured that he was responsible for the disappearance of Mel Gibson. This angered McFlyin, who believed every word of said rumour, and who had never heard of Mad Max, only What Women Want.

An inquiry was sent forth and it was ruled that Mr. Gibson must have hidden himself away where he could go ahead with his drunk tirades where not even the crows could hear him.

It was decided that not only would a search of the world not be worth it, it would also be more expensive, much like the pointless search for Osama bin Laden.

Part III

Lorne the Super Jew was intelligent.
Lorne the Super Jew was clever!
Lorne the Super Jew was a PATRIOT!

When it came time to defend his country against the wicked Gibson-ites (some very disturbing people not really worth a description here), he led them away by promising them gold and jewels...without detailing the amount of karats first.

And that is where our story ends, ladies and gentlemen.

I could go on and on and on about the glorious Lorne the Super Jew, but if there’s one thing that Lorne the Super Jew is known for...it is his great humility.

THE END

Thursday, November 25, 2010

What I'm thankful for

Oh yeah, time to get sentimental this Thanksgiving.

- Being with my family, however asshole-ish they may be.

- Getting into a good school.

- Making lots of new friends at college

- Keeping in touch with a few of my old friends from high school.

- Being able to sleep in as late as I want to, without having to worry about alarms going off, or being late for classes.

- Good health (corny as hell for sure, but something you just have to mention)

- My puppy, Bailey.

- 50% off Criterion DVD sales

- Netflix Instant watch

- Thanksgiving feasts. Mmmmmmmmmm –

That’s all for now.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

College updates.

Hey, I don’t see you coming up with any ideas.

- As far as classes are concerned, I’m doing very well in a few (like English Comp and Linguistics) while I’m struggling in some others (Intro to Gov’t and Astronomy)

- I’m getting much better at the guitar, due to more practice. Who knows, you could even say that I’m getting halfway decent.

- I’ve developed a routine of drinking coffee. I can’t honestly say I like it, but it’s become a habit that I drink at least 1 cup per day.

- Apparently the students that work in the library get paid $8.50 an hour, which sort of blew my mind when I learned that.

- Still no goddamn roommate.

- I should really be working on an English paper instead of writing this.

- I am no longer a member of the Snapper newspaper staff. It’s a long story, but basically, the section of the paper I was writing for got terminated and I (and a few other kids) got booted out. It was really dumb.

Woohoo!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Not for you, for me

This is just a friendly reminder to myself to get my ass in gear and put something here. I keep saying I'll do it eventually, so what good is my word now? Anywho, when I have the time, I will try to write something up for my blogging pleasure.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Why ‘Hereafter’ is amazing and people are generally ignorant, stupid morons


The goal of a film’s trailer is generally to make it look appealing towards its established target audience, yes? And surely most people would agree that the average trailer is successful in that regard a very good percentage of the time. The films demographic take the bait, see the film and enjoy it while the rest of the world scoffs and forgets said trailer forever. It’s a fairly routine system that appears to work most of the time (read: most of the time). But every so often, the studios prove that they have so little faith in their product that they feel the need to dress it up like some lame ass movie-of-the-week, thus dooming it to poor word of mouth from people expecting something completely different from what the got. The last major instance of this would be M. Night Shyamalan’s misunderstood masterpiece The Village, and we find ourselves with another case nearly as outrageous, this time concerning Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter.

Hereafter tells the story of three separate storylines where the protagonist of each either experiences or is faced with a situation involving death in some way. Think of the trailer for this film like if Slumdog Millionaire was advertised to look like a James Bond film. If I were to make a comparison to a now realized genre classic, I’d say this film is this generation’s The Shining. Surely if the audiences who saw The Shining back when it was first released in theaters had Facebooks, their statuses would’ve read “The girlfriend and I both hated The Shining. So boring” and “Latest Stanley Kubrick movie: S – L – O – W” etc. However, a more recent comparison would be to say that it’s this years Funny People – as in the wrong people watching it, and thus spreading negative word of mouth, where the people who would really respond to this film brush it off as exactly what the trailer made it out to be.

But what I think upset audiences the most was Hereafter’s overall position, or lack thereof, when it comes to the various theories concerning what comes after death. The film doesn’t take any concrete position on the afterlife but rather allows the viewer to reflect parts of what they believe into the material the film exposes them to. It’s not the fault of the film, nor anybody involved, for failing to provide answers to the mystery of the afterlife. Because really, anybody who think they’ll get an answer to THE question by watching movies is bound to be disappointed

So what do I think the future holds for Hereafter? Very minimal, if any awards recognition. Reasonably mild critical/public reception and doomed to be dismissed as one of Eastwood’s lesser works. Perhaps an eventual cult following will materialize in the near future, just like The Village (high five!), but it’s certainly doubtful. The point is that whatever fate has in store for this film, it’s far less than it deserves. But in a society where Scott Pilgrim vs. the World makes less money than Vampires Suck, could you really expect anything less?