From the archives

Often considered (by myself and a few teachers where I went to high school) to be the best thing I've ever written, I present to you my published review of the 2009 PVHS drama production of Once Upon a Mattress.

Alright, Hans Christian Anderson's literary fairly tale The Princess and the Pea is, let's face it, no Les Miserables. Granted, nobody is asking it to be nor have such high marks ever been required of it. But really, how attractive does this this sound? A young princess learns of her true values by feeling a pea underneath like a gazillion mattresses. Uh huh. Well, Mary Rodgers and Marshall Barer apparently were enchanted by the concept, and adapted the story into a stage play named Once Upon a Mattress. Since then, the little fable has also been adapted into for film, television, and even a board game. Here we stand, 50 years later as our school's drama crew has picked up the aforementioned Once Upon a Mattress as their dramatic theater piece for this year.

Quite noticeably, there is a total juxtaposition in the air, with tonality in play choices shifting from a series of life-affirming theater pieces to a whimsical little children's diddy concerning vegetables in places vegetables should never be. It should also be noted that replacing Ramona Parsons from last year is Christina Castone, marking her debut as a director for the drama production. While the level of importance of a chosen director in this case is debatable, one can't help but wonder how much this play would differ had Parsons been attached, like if this is the play that would have been chosen in the first place. Castone's presence is certainly felt, but not fatal. But hey, the less time spent on the "What if?"s, the better.

An act of revitalization as much as continuation, Once Upon a Mattress seeks to breathe fresh life into the moribund family-friendly field crushed under classic literature's foot. The end result would prove all the long hours of devastating labour and time spent during and after school hours to have been time well spent. With an adequate ensemble cast ranging from seniors to sophomores to even kindergarten students. The supporting players all do their job of, well, supporting the leads, who in this case are Tom Byrne and Nicole Chouljian, both sophomores. (Side-note to all sophomores: walk faster in the hallways) If ever there was a standout in the show, quite appropriately, it would have to be Chouljian's Princess Olivia. Amidst a sea of comic performers and faux-vaudevillian whimsy, she feverishly treats her princess as sympathetic and disheartening. It's a flash of inspired risk-taking that stands out like a sore thumb in this newest Princess show, a fleeting instant of enlivened daring amid a play that's otherwise content, despite its outward appearances to the contrary, to maintain both PV's narrative and dramatic status quo.

Irrespective of the fact that its intended progressiveness is compromised, Once Upon a Mattress only intermittently delivers on its promise of glitzy and glamorous Princess bliss. When the play does falter at times, and make no mistake that it does, it’s mostly during the opening sections involving the Prince's search for a bride. As all informed viewers know, he will not succeed in finding one, and the play has some fun playing with the failures in the Prince's search, but maybe a little too much fun. Each individual princess has but one sole function. For instance, one is conceded, another is smart, and the last one…is buff, I guess. Rest assured, all the actress who portray the lot are fine and really do a good job flaunting their respective attributes and making them dominate their given personas. The fault is in the pacing of this section of the play, where it feels like the show is dragging each princess-fail joke out until it's uncomfortable and seems to be just procrastinating until it’s time for the extended finale of the show.

Another weak point of the production albeit a less troubling one, once again having to do moreso with the actual story, rather than anything the school had control over, is how the show brings itself to a close. The story itself never had much of a finale or structural arc, so it's only expected that it bled through to the drama production. It just sort of...ends. In a nutshell, the climax plays out as follows: "She felt the pea? Zomigod yay - new princess!" Fin.

But perhaps the longing for some closure signifies that the play, all things considered, achieved its goal of engaging the audience. Or maybe the one just can't help but wonder what royalty dictated by frozen food entails. For what it's worth, it's a flawed production, but gratifying in the way it delivers.

The story of all the trouble this review got me into prior to the printing could (and maybe someday will) make for an interesting blog post all its own.